If you find yourself in a situation where you are contemplating divorce, there are several recommended steps you should take. The first of these is to consult an attorney who specifically practices in this area and devotes the majority of their practice toward divorce and family law matters. Contact the attorney to arrange for a consultation. You should not be put off by an attorney who charges an initial consultation fee. As with most things, you usually get what you pay for. Often times the consultation fee is a small initial investment in a major life changing event.
Next, if you are a parent, it is important to never involve the children in the marital discord. No child should be placed in the middle of divorcing parents or the issues one of the parents may have with the other.
If you are not already, become knowledgeable about your family‘s finances. Try to secure copies of relevant financial documentation including, but not limited to, prior tax returns, W-2 and 1099 statements and paystubs, bank account, investment and credit card information pertaining to both you and your spouse. While you and your attorney will be entitled to obtain and review this documentation during any litigation, there is a cost savings involved when you can provide as much information as possible to your attorney.
My past experience in representing divorcing spouses suggests that it is helpful, at the start of the process, to write down reasonable objectives or goals you wish to achieve as you go through the process. It is also beneficial to list that which you wish to avoid while going through the process. Both of these lists can be reviewed and discussed with your attorney at the initial consultation.
Never post or share any form of information regarding the situation on social media! While venting about your feelings may make you feel better in the present, any negative and inflammatory comments about your spouse will have a detrimental long-term effect on the disposition your case. Once comments are posted online, even if they are deleted, they are never completely gone.
Do not permit your spouse to intimidate you with threats or claims of withholding access to children or financial support. The Courts are available to you and can resolve these immediate issues before your divorce is finalized.
Never change beneficiaries on any insurance policies or modify your existing health or life insurance coverages. The Court will require you to reinstate the existing coverage if you do. You should also confirm that your spouse has not taken any of these actions.
Most importantly, try to stay calm and immediately arrange for a consultation with an attorney who has experience in the divorce / family law area.