Co-parenting can be a challenging but rewarding journey for both parents and children. Whether you’re co-parenting after a divorce, separation, or just sharing the responsibility of raising a child, it’s essential to establish a healthy co-parenting relationship to ensure the well-being of your child.
Five Tips for Successful Co-Parenting:
Communication is Key
Divorcing parents of minor children are faced with many hard decisions that must be addressed while separating. These considerations include resolving custody, parenting time and support for their children, which are often much harder and more emotionally charged than the issues involving dividing assets and calculating financial support between spouses. When there’s a child with special needs in the family, there are additional decisions to be made surrounding their continued care, often well past the time that other children would be deemed to be emancipated, and the finances surrounding the support they’re receiving. Special needs children are best served when their parents fully address these issues during the divorce proceeding and are able to focus on the best interests of the children, and the divorcing parents are best served by attorneys who fully understand the issues and can offer practical solutions based on the specific circumstances.
Child Support
In any divorce involving children, the parties need to resolve custody, which involves both the legal and physical sharing of their children. In most cases, parties will agree or a court will order that the parties share joint legal custody of their children. Joint legal custody generally means joint decision making for all major decisions in a child’s life. These major decisions typically fall into three larger categories, which are the child’s: (1) health, (2) education, and (3) well being. For example, both parties would need to participate in the decision-making process and agree on whether the child will attend public or private school or whether the child will have their tonsils removed on a nonemergency basis. If parents are unable to agree on these decisions, they can enlist the help of attorneys, mediators or the court, who will help decide these issues with or for them. For parents of a child with special needs these decisions may involve the continuation of certain therapies or treatments or their continued care if they’re no longer able to reside at home.
Imagine you attended a mediation in a hotly contested matter which turns out to be a total waste of time because your adversary was late, unfamiliar with the file or unwilling to entertain settlement discussions. Is it permissible to tell the trial judge about your adversary’s failure to act in good faith? What if you are able to reach an agreement but one side later refuses to acknowledge that agreement? Is there any recourse?
Imagine you participate in a mediation which is unsuccessful. Your adversary files a motion wherein it is disclosed that your client was willing to waive alimony at mediation. You, of course, are furious at this misrepresentation because that is only part of the story. What has been omitted is that your client was only wiling to waive alimony in exchange for receiving 100% of the property in equitable distribution. How do you respond?
The General Rule
Be open and listen. The skill of opening the ears, putting down the phone, and actually listening is something that we all can work on…
Nicole A. Kobis, Esq., partner in Lindabury’s Divorce and Family Law Practice Group, discusses her thoughts on how to lead and succeed in today’s constantly evolving world as a featured guest on Lawline’s Lawyers Who Lead Podcast, with host Sigalle Barness.
While the war in Ukraine rages on, Good Samaritans are doing everything they can to help its people. Karolina A. Dehnhard, partner in Lindabury’s Family Law Group, speaks about her involvement with efforts to help Ukrainian orphans in Poland as a return guest on the New Jersey Morning Show.
As a Divorce Lawyer, I deal with family law issues all the time and some of the sensitive issues the we deal with are those of children, parenting, adoption, what happens with the kids. Imagine how lucky children are when they have even one parent. Now think about a situation where you have hundreds, if not, thousands of children living in over 650 orphanages in Ukraine, some of which have now been destroyed by the war, who have no one. So what we found over the last several weeks, is that many of these orphans have come into Poland and are now in our orphanages or care centers in our country but with that comes all these questions. Who’s responsible for these kids? Where’s the jurisdiction? Is it with Ukraine? Is it with Poland? We have now learned that adoptions have been suspended until the Russian war is over. So there are so many things to talk about, and one of the things we are going to do as lawyers, as judges, as philanthropists, is heading over there to lend a helping hand.
No one goes into a marriage expecting to be divorced, but when a family makes that tough decision, the last thing you want is for your children to be caught in the crossfire.
Nicole A. Kobis, Esq., partner in Lindabury’s Divorce and Family Law Practice Group, discusses the challenges of Divorce & Your Children as a featured guest on RVN Television’s Legal Breakdown, with host Erin Brueche.
Births, deaths, marriages and divorces reshape the definition of “family” for individuals on a constant basis. It’s no wonder, then, that family law and estate planning often go hand in hand. Estate planners and divorce attorneys alike are often presented with “what if” questions that span both areas of law. Here, we explore a few common questions clients may have when faced with these life transitions. The goal of this article, is to help clients make decisions that protect their loved ones and their assets.
Can I change my will while getting divorced and should I? Although the last thing that many clients want to do once the divorce action has begun is to engage another attorney, it’s actually a good idea for them to review their estate plan this time.
While divorce looks different for every client – some saddened, some shocked, some happy to move on – a common emotion surrounding divorce is nervousness. For many, divorce may be the first time a person has prolonged involvement with the Court system. Understanding the Court System’s divorce process can help lessen anxiety and fear surrounding the divorce process.
Initiation. The first step in any divorce proceeding is the Complaint for Divorce. The Complaint essentially informs the Court of the general facts of your case and is the formal notice to the Court and your spouse that you are seeking a divorce. Your spouse will then have the chance to file an “Answer” to your Complaint.
Financial Paperwork. Generally, both parties to the case will individually file a “Case Information Statement”, which summarizes income and spending of the parties. It will also list any assets or debts that you have. This gives the Court an overview of your financial situation.
Divorce inevitably results in a major life transition for all parties involved. Whether or not both spouses wish to end their marriage, divorce presents changes in family structure, time spent with children and financial resources. During a divorce, decisions need to be made about the most precious and important aspects of an individual’s life while they navigate the intense emotional effects of materially altering the way they may have envisioned their future. In order to protect yourself during a divorce, I advise my clients that the best way to make those decisions is to arm themselves with information so that they become informed consumers. I ask them to gather their financial information, including account statements and tax returns, think about what they want as they transition to life after divorce and what matters most to them as we begin to discuss the issues associated with dissolving their marriage. There are terms that are foreign, processes that are new and decisions that once made can change their lives forever.
The divorce process in New Jersey is focused on settlement- keeping as much control as possible with the spouses themselves who arguably know what is best for themselves, their children and their families. Many litigants turn to alternate dispute resolution means, such as mediation or collaborative divorce, to resolve the issues associated with dissolving their marriage. These processes allow for more creativity in settlement and more communication about the specifics of each issue. In cases that involve more complexity or discord, parent coordinators who help facilitate decisions regarding the children are brought in to manage parents even after the divorce has ended.
While divorce does create change, that change does not have to be for the worse. Surrounding yourself with trained professionals who can help navigate the process, the court system and help educate you while you move through the divorce will help ensure a smoother transition into the next chapter.
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